Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I
really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I
must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going
to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So,
there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand,
taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would
shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to
cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second
burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a
fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting
the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring
about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really
and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself,
"no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but
I'll do my best..... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with
her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning
that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't
hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just
for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed
the button, and ...
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